Here...

I took a relaxing weekend taking naps in the hammock and journaling on the porch rocking chairs. A group from Austin came on Saturday and I know some of the women on the trip. It is fun to have them here at the mission house with me. We all went to play at the orphanage that Nicaragua Resource Network sponsors that is connected to one of their churches and schools. Also, delivered to one school the medical supplies we distributed for them. Here goes some stream of consciousness about the past few days:


I have so many feelings and reflections and epiphanies. I am growing and learning to love. Learning through seeing and reflecting and mostly from empathizing. Life here is so different and so bittersweet. Different from expectations is the so many things I am thinking that I can’t articulate and I am sad and elated at the same time. there is so many reactions in my head to things all around and it drives me crazy sometimes the way I try to problem solve everything but then at the same time have so much peace in that the people are living beautiful lives. Neighborhoods are the best and the worst at the same time. I love it here. And where is the mom or big sister of the toddlers wandering the streets and why doesn’t someone cover the naked men lying on the side of the road. Motorcycle accidents and busy streets. Blood on the highway. Someone was decapitated in another part of the country. They found the body first then the head. It was on the radio in the taxi. All the whistling at me. I react to it differently every time. The pastor emphasizes prayer and God's plan And I empathize with the people. Mothers crying. Children laughing and sleeping. Worshipping with music and dancing and clapping and hearing God so near just whispering to be still and love. Birthdays. Egg on the head. Mariachi band. Pinatas. Popcorn and choclate for dinner. sweet cards and celebrating life. To see them all playing is awesome. Playing is playing. And a ball is fun to play with all over the world and so is a new friend. And falling asleep on the dirt floor of your house.Because now that your mom had another baby there isn’t room for all 10 people in the family to sleep on the only bed that is there. They breast feed until they are older here because the transition from breast milk to food is hard and more expensive and not very accessible. At orphanage the kids fall asleep under a tree, on the cement floor or in your lap all the same. Rest to be able to play and go to church. I am mentally engaged a lot. This feels like home. I can’t really explain it. I am where I am supposed to be...


Love,
Ayla


"To a worm in horseradish the world is all horseradish." ~Anonymous